Welcome to September


As is the tradition now, the first E-Mail Ministry message of the month is my chance to talk to all of you about the status of E-Mail Ministry and other related items. So here goes the September edition:

Now is the time when most schools open up for the new year. Please pray this year will be plagued by “non-events” where all the kids are safe and are surrounded by a learning environment with teachers dedicating to the teaching of the next generation.

In the August ‘first of the month’ message I included a Bible Book Puzzle. The solution is at the end of this message. If you are new to E-Mail Ministry, and still want to do the puzzle, you can see it in the August “Beginning With Him” message titled “Kicking Off August”.

Q1: If you knew a woman who was pregnant, who had 8 kids already, three who were deaf, two who were blind, one mentally retarded, and she had syphilis; would you recommend that she have an abortion? Read the next question before scrolling down to the answer of this one.

Q2: It is time to elect the world leader, and your vote counts. Here are the facts about the three leading candidates:
Candidate A
Associates with crooked politicians, and consults with astrologists. He’s had two mistresses. He also chain smokes and drinks 8 to 10 martinis a day.
Candidate B
He was kicked out of office twice, sleeps until noon, used opium in college and drinks a quart of whisky every evening.
Candidate C
He is a decorated war hero. He’s a vegetarian, doesn’t smoke, drinks an occasional beer and hasn’t had any extramarital affairs.

Which of these candidates would be your choice?

Decide first, no peeking, then scroll down for the answer.

This is AWESOME and POWERFUL site. Enter your first name when you first
go in (you’ll see) and enjoy. It’s wonderful!

As always, I encourage you to forward the E-Mail Ministry messages to family, friends, work associates, etc. Occasionally, I get comments from people when they subscribe indicating how much they appreciate people thinking of them and sending them the messages. Here is one comment I recently received.

“I am at a place in my life where struggle isn’t even the word to describe what I’m going through. Your last messages sent to me (The Butterfly Story and Problem Solving Opportunities) have provided me with comfort and insight. I thank you … I thank GOD … I will get through the times ahead … with faith and love and God. Keep on touching others with your ministry! – Julie”

You can make a difference in someone’s life. Follow God’s lead on who you should send the messages to!

E-Mail Ministry is up to 590 subscribers. An increase of 197 from last month!

I would also like to thank everyone who sends me message for use by E-Mail Ministry. Due to the large volume of messages submitted, I cannot thank you individually. But please know that I deeply appreciate all of you and your support of this ministry.

The E-Mail Ministry web site has also been updated with the August
messages in the archive section. All of the Christian humor submissions
have been posted to the Church Humor page.

If you have suggestions on how to improve the site please let me know.

Joe, and the Books of the Bible

Joe told me there are thirty-one books of the Bible in this story. There are sixty-six books in the King (James) Version, which forms (a mos)t re(mark)able library. Sixty-six is a (number s)ome branches of religion don’t accept. The impact of the Bible, w(hose a)ncient writings and t(ruth) still apply, has been dyna(mic. A h)ard to ignore fact is the quality of its teaching. This story makes it a real (job) to find the names as they are not capitalized and often leap the spaces between the words. If a book isn’t an instant (revelation), it can cause great (lamentations).
Joe says it usually takes his girl friend hours to find them all. When she is confronted with puzzles like this, s(he brews) a cup of tea to help her concentrate better. But then, she’s a real (pro: verbs), nouns, and all that stuff are her thing. She is very grouchy while working conundrums. Being a (hag gai)ns her no great circle of friends. She also ingratiates herself by keeping alms that were not meant for her. She kee(ps alms) because she doesn’t like to labor. She leaves a scent in the bre(eze, kiel)basa with Di(jon, a h)eartily seasoned mustard, comes wafting toward you. (John)ny Appleseed would be proud of her apple pie.
(Joe l)earned most of the Old Testament was written somewhere east of Su(ez, ra)ther close to (Jude)a. See how well you can com(pete. R)espond by underlining as you find I(t. It us)ually takes only a few minutes to (judge s)everal sentences for such nam(es. Ther)e is the danger of see(king s)o hurriedly one will overlook names in going f(rom ans)wer to answer. Though thirty one books are herein concealed, it is hard to say what score is nor(mal. A chi)ld may find certain books, whereas adults will overlook the(m. At the w)orst, one should find a few. As a matter of f(act, s)ome are obvious I(n a hum)orous sort of way. Joe should go out and compose a (song. Of songs) he knows as much as Bible books.

The list of books included: James – Amos – Mark – Numbers – Hosea – Ruth – Micah – Job – Revelation – Lamentations – Hebrews – Proverbs – Haggai – Psalms – Ezekiel – Jonah – John – Joel – Ezra – Jude – Peter – Titus – Judges – Esther – Kings – Romans – Malachi – Matthew – Acts – Nahum – Song of Songs

From- The Voice of Lay Speaking, July 1993, p.10

Candidate A is Franklin D. Roosevelt
Candidate B is Winston Churchill
Candidate C is Adolph Hitler

and by the way:

Answer to the abortion question – if you said yes, you just killed Beethoven.

I pray you all have an enjoyable summer and may you continue to see God’s blessings in your lives.

— doug